Perry's First Mission
by Fleeting Eternity
Summary: The story of how Perry became a secret agent- and his strange first mission along the way.
1. Chapter 1

_Hey everyone. Before you read, I just wanted to make clear that this story takes place **before **Phineas, Ferb, and Candace were born. I altered the whole gist of the cartoon a little bit on a few points: One- Perry is actually Lawrence's pet platypus. Two- Linda and Lawrence are already married. In the cartoon, Phineas and Ferb are step-brothers, with Linda and Lawrence previously already having spouses. Just pretend that never happened. Three- Just to clarify on one more point, this is about a year or so before Candace was born, so you can get a feel of the time period._

_Chapter 1_

It was just another ordinary day…

Or so he thought…

Little did Perry the Platypus know that today he would become a secret agent.

It was around 8:30 in the morning, and Perry was just starting to wake up. He slowly and gradually stretched as he went down on his front feet with his tail up in the air. He yawned, then scurried to the window and peered out of it.

He saw another bright and sunny summer day, just like normal in Danville. _Ah, all is well once again, _Perry thought. Knowing everything was of a perfect balance outside, he trotted downstairs to see how his owners Linda and Lawrence were doing.

Perry turned the corner at the bottom of the stairs and strolled, eyes half-open, into the kitchen where Linda was cooking breakfast.

"Oh, good morning Perry!" Linda said eagerly. "Guess what I'm making?"

_Ooo, PANCAKES... _Perry thought. He always wanted to try food humans ate, they always smelled way more appetizing than the worms and insect larvae he was forced to eat... and pancakes looked way better too.

"These are for Lawrence. He has a big art show today, so I have to make sure he has a big breakfast!"

Perry stopped drooling. _Dang it, I thought they were for me..._

Knowing that Perry didn't have any luck at getting fed pancakes any time soon, he went into a room just off of the kitchen where Lawrence was, again, attempting to paint. Perry thought he was pretty good at it… now if only Lawrence would stop kissing them when he was finished painting them…

"Alright," Lawrence thought out loud, "let's try… _blue_!" He gasped. "That's it! That's _exactly _what this painting was missing, _blue_." He thought again.

"But wait… _which shade of blue_? Oh, there are so many! Uh… hmm… Ugh, this is too difficult!" Lawrence complained. "LINDA! Linda, where are you, I NEED YOUR INPUT ON WHICH SHADE OF BLUE TO USE!"

_Ha ha, the usual again… _Perry thought. He decided to go outside for some fresh air; it was a beautiful day, after all.

He strolled across the back of the house, planning to make his way to the large oak tree where shade was always plentiful. That was, until he saw a strange note taped to the side of the house. It read:

Perry the Platypus,

We have been watching you, and you are exactly the kind of person… or, uh, animal… that we've been searching for. I am Major Monogram, president and founder of a local spy group in the Tri-State area. We need you to become a spy for us to take on a new and potentially dangerous criminal mastermind. You would be helping many individuals, as well as our company if you accept your new mission. If you do accept, there is a tunnel that we have installed just a few feet to the right of where this note was posted. Or, to make it easier, push on the place on the side of this house with a red "X" marked on it.

-Major Monogram

Perry didn't know what to do. _Then again, being a secret agent could be fun! _he thought.

_And, I would be helping a lot of people… plus I have nothing else to do… why not?_

Perry looked to his left, and then his right. No one was watching, so he pressed on the red "X" right next to the note. A hatch opened up and he crawled inside.

He was shot through tangled messes of tubes and elevators, until he finally reached his destination and stepped into Head Quarters.

_Whoa, this place is fancy, talk about high-tech! _Perry thought.

At that moment, a man's face appeared on a giant screen. On his green suit were two Ms, reading, "MM".

_That must be Major Monogram… _Perry concluded.

"Perry the Platypus?" Monogram asked.

Perry responded by making his chirping noise.

"Perfect," Monogram mused, "from now on, I'm calling you… 'Agent P'. 'P' for 'platypus', or, maybe 'Perry'… I dunno, you pick. Anyway, I'm glad you decided to join us Agent P, we could really use your help. Please, sit down." Major Monogram motioned to a red chair placed in front of the screen where he was talking. Perry cautiously sat in the chair, and looked back up and continued to watch the screen.

"We have discovered a new evil scientist on the rise, his name is Dr. Doofenshmirtz," Perry tried to stop himself from laughing.

"I know, the name sounds funny," Monogram said, "but you get used to it after hearing it for so long. You see, Dr. Doofenshmirtz has been evil for around almost a year now. The reason we're just now calling you in, is because he's just now starting to _not _foil his own evil plots," Perry looked confused.

"Yeah, it's confusing," Major Monogram agreed, "let me explain. You see, when he first became evil and started making his own evil schemes, he would always stop them, on accident, himself. What I mean is… let me give you an example. A few months ago he made a ray that would get rid of department store clerks, because according to him, 'They take too long to check out your purchase! You stand there for an hour while you wait for the clerk and the person in front of you to stop talking and start ringing you up!' So when he was about to fire the ray, he tripped over his shoe lace, and accidently landed on the self-destruct button. Now do you see what I mean? He accidently stops his own plans from coming to fruition, just because of how clumsy he is!

"So, anyway, we know you can already walk on two feet. We see you when your owners aren't around. No, it's _not _stalker-ish. I feel you're ready for your first mission, that is, if you're up to it…" Perry nodded.

"Excellent. If you go to the wall behind you, you'll see a pin pad. Type in the numbers 979173," after pressing the buttons, part of the wall moved to the side and revealed a glass door. Then, the glass door moved to the side, and there sitting on a stand was a brown fedora.

"This," Monogram continued, "is the 'secret agent' hat. You're required to wear it on all of your missions," Perry didn't mind. _Well, it is cool._

"And over there," the Major motioned to the other side of the room, "are all of your gadgets. Careful, though, some of them are dangerous. There is a guide on each of them where I wrote up how to use them."

Perry surrounded himself with all of the complex gadgets, and in about an hour he memorized how to use them all.

"Are you ready?" Monogram asked.

Perry nodded.

"Here, I printed out directions to Doofenshmirtz's company- Doofenshmirtz Evil, Incorporated."

Perry walked to the printer and grabbed the paper.

"Just to give you some background info, it's Doofenshmirtz's company, kind of a 'big duh' there, but…" Perry continued watching him.

"Ignore what I just said. It's just Doofenshmirtz there, no one else. Doofenshmirtz Evil, Incorporated is supposed to be this huge corporation, but he's the only person that works there. Just wanted to let you know incase you were worried about security or something."

Perry gave him a classic army salute and jumped into the hover-car, one of the gadgets he had memorized how to use. He flew through a tube, located at the top of the hideout. Just before he was all the way though, he heard a faint "Good luck, Agent P."


	2. Chapter 2

_Chapter 2_

Agent P continued flying in his hover-car, continually glancing at the map to make sure he didn't get lost.

_Let's see, _he thought, _so from Maple Drive you take a… left? Or, no, it's a right, right? Shoot! _Perry was sure that he was lost, until he came upon a huge purple skyscraper that read "Doofenshmirtz Evil, Incorporated" at the top.

_Hmm… well, I guess this is the place._ Perry thought. He parked his hover-car outside the building, and put a plunger-like gadget on each of his arms and legs. He walked to the building and began to climb, gripping on for dear life to the plungers.

_Please don't fall, please don't fall, please don't fall, please don't fall… _he continued repeating in his head.

Then he fell.

Luckily, there was a flagpole sticking out the side of the building that he grabbed on to, swiftly twirled himself around it, and made a poised, precision-filled landing perfectly set on top of the pole.

_Whoa! _Perry thought, _since when could I do that?!_

With his heart racing and adrenaline pumping, Perry continued to climb up the building until he heard a sound coming from inside of one of the walls.

"Yes! It is almost complete!" he heard the voice say.

_This must be him, _Perry guessed, _except he sounds a lot less threatening than I imagined…_

He took out one of his lasers and cut a perfect circle in the side of the building. He then swung himself through it and landed lightly on the ground. Dr. Doofenshmirtz noticed him and turned around.

"What is this, a platypus… that's a secret agent?" he asked. Perry smiled.

"Oh, you must be Perry the Platypus!"

_What!? How the heck does he know me!?_

"I bet you're wondering how I know who you are, right? Monogram and I keep in touch, I had a feeling you were coming soon."

Doofenshmirtz approached Perry and stuck out his arm to shake hands. "Hi, I'm Dr. Heinz Doofenshmirtz, as Monogram has probably already told you. And, as I said, I already know who you are."

Perry went to shake hands, and as he outstretched his arm Doofenshmirtz grabbed it and flipped Perry over. A big cage came out of the floor and trapped Agent P where he was.

"Wah ha ha!" Doofenshmirtz laughed, "Rule number one, _never_ trust an evil scientist! You can definitely tell you're a newbie."

Perry took off his hat and pulled a cord from inside of it, activating his hat to spin around fast and act like a chainsaw. Before he could cut one of the bars, Doofenshmirtz screamed, "Perry the Platypus, turn that off quickly before she wakes up!! Shhh!"

Perry pulled the cord again, turning off the hat. _Who is 'she'? _he pondered.

Perry the Platypus, I'm sorry, you see, my wife is out today with a few of her friends, and I'm in charge of watching the baby.

_The baby!? The guy has a kid? Gees, if he can find someone to fall in love with him, there's hope for us all… _Perry thought.

At that moment, there was a sound of a baby crying.

"Oh _no_, not _AGAIN_! Nice going, genius!" Doofenshmirtz stomped off into a separate room attached to the one they were just in. When he reached the other room, Perry quickly used his hat to saw the bars away and followed behind Doofenshmirtz.

Dr. D reached over the crib where a tiny baby was previously sleeping, now crying, and attempted to cradle her back to sleep.

Perry pointed at the tiny new life thinking, _So that's the cause of all this noise?_

"Yep, this is her," Doofenshmirtz said proudly, "Vanessa, my baby girl." Doofenshmirtz looked into her eyes. "It's weird knowing that I'm a dad now. I mean, I know I've had 9 months to figure it out, but it still hasn't clicked yet. I remember the day I found out Charlene was pregnant, we were SO happy! And now she's 2 weeks old…" He became teary-eyed. "Oh, uh, sorry Perry the Platypus… I know this is, uh, kinda awkward…"

_Oh, no, please continue. _Perry was actually interested in what he had to say.

Heinz gently put Vanessa down in her crib and walked back to the main room. "Hey, wait a second! How did you escape?" he realized.

Perry pointed to his hat. "Oh, right, that fancy-shmancy hat of yours…" Perry chuckled.

"Anyway," Doofenshmirtz continued, "follow me." Agent P followed him to a balcony outside of the building, where there was a huge ray-looking thing.

"This," he began, "is my latest invention... THE NOISE-AWAY-INATOR!"

_What in the world? _Perry thought.

"With this, I will silence the entire city so that Vanessa can get some sleep! The stupid cars with the constant honking of their horns on the freeway, and all the voices of pedestrians always keep her awake! And it's worse at night, because if _she_ can't sleep, _I_ don't sleep. So with a single push of this button, everyone and everything will finally mute!"

Perry thought over his strategy. _Alright! This is it! My big break! Now if I want to stop him, I need to aim for the… wait a second… _Perry thought about something else, _This isn't exactly evil, is it? I would do the same thing if my kid were keeping me up all night._

Perry continued thinking, _So if this isn't evil, then should I stop him? But, it is my first mission; shouldn't I get to have a little fun? Or, is having 'fun' the just thing to do? Oh, what the heck…_

"The city shall be silenced in 3… 2…" Perry then did a double flip in the air and snatched the remote right out of the Doctor's hands.

"Oh! So _that's_ how you're gonna play it, huh? Bring it on!" Doofenshmirtz had his hands up ready to fight, when Agent P did one crucial thing. He crushed the remote using just one hand.

"Oh, you… uh… crushed my remote," Doofenshmirtz observed, "So, I guess the fight is over?"

Perry shrugged his shoulders.

"Well, you're wrong!" Doofenshmirtz screamed. He ran directly to the ray he was planning to fire, and pushed a bright yellow button on the top of it.

"Ha, Perry the Platypus! I had a feeling something like this would happen, so I installed an extra button!"

The machine started counting down the time until the whole city would have absolutely no sound, Perry had to act fast. He pulled off his hat, and pulled the cord in his hat again.

"Oh no! Perry the Platypus, please, don't do what I think you're gonna do!" Doofenshmirtz begged.

Perry ignored him, and when the hat was powered up and started spinning, he threw it at the ray, and cut it right in half. A few seconds later, the giant ray exploded into millions of pieces.

"NO!" he screamed again.

Perry smiled, then whistled, and his hover-craft came to him. Perry jumped in after retrieving his hat and prepared to fly home.

Again, he heard a faint sound of Vanessa crying.

"Ugh, NO NO NO NO NO!!" Doofenshmirtz yelled.

Perry started up the hover-craft and flew off of the building, laughing as he did. A few feet away from the building he heard, "CURSE YOU, PERRY THE PLATYPUS!"


	3. Chapter 3

_Chapter 3_

_Oh yeah! Go Perry! Go Perry! _Perry thought. _I did it! I finished my first mission, with a success! _Upon thinking this, he felt a sense of pride, like he had finally accomplished something important in his life. _Who says platypuses don't do much?_

For the rest of the ride back to head quarters, Perry just couldn't stop smiling. He finally came out of his own little world when he finished parking the hover-car and stood in front of the large screen waiting for further directions from Major Monogram.

After a few minutes of waiting, the screen buzzed to life. "Ah, Agent P, you're back! Congratulations on a success on your first try!"

Perry made a confused face, _And… how does he know I won?_

"I bet you're wondering how I know about your win," Major Monogram said.

_Yes, yes I am, _Perry thought.

"Doofenshmirtz and I keep in touch," Monogram answered.

_Why does that sound familiar? _Perry thought again.

"So anyway," Major Monogram continued, "at the end of your mission, report back here so you can put your stuff away, then you're free to go. And, if you have any questions, don't hesitate to ask."

Perry nodded his head 'no', then stepped into the chute that would lead him back home. Before he left, Monogram called, "Oh, Agent P, one more thing!"

Perry walked out of the chute and back to the screen.

"We're glad to have you here, Agent P."

Perry smiled, then continued back to the chute and went home.

When he entered the house, his owners were just starting to eat dinner. "Oh, there you are, Perry!" Lawrence said, "We've been looking for you all day!" Perry chirped and then hopped up on the couch in the living room to rest.

Before he fell asleep, Perry was completely happy. He actually had something to do with his life, and it was fun! Taking chances everyday gave him an odd sense of peace. Plus, he had a nemesis, which to him was the coolest thing in the world. To add to that, his nemesis seemed… what's the word… _interesting_? Perry had a strange feeling that most of Doofenshmirtz's plans would be like the ones he had today, for his own needs rather than actually being evil. To Perry, that's _way_ more exciting than anything evil a _normal_ evil scientist would do.

And that's exactly how he wanted it.

_The End_


End file.
